Understanding Shame, part 4: Growing up shame-based

Shame is experienced as a passing emotion in almost everybody. It exists to tell us that we are at risk of losing important social relationships, or that we might be thrown out of our group. However, if we’ve been traumatized, then shame becomes indelibly interwoven with our implicit sense of who we are, whereupon our identity becomes "shame-based." There are several routes to becoming shame-based, one being when infants do not get their needs met by sensitive, responsive, and nurturing caregivers.