A disempowered mother meets her baby for the first time

I saw my son for the first time via digital photo. My husband held the camera in front of me and I felt nothing. Worse than that, I felt nothing that I felt nothing. He didn’t look familiar; my first thought was that he wasn’t mine. Blame it on me waking up to an empty room and deflated belly. Blame it on the morphine drip. Blame it on the nurse that ruined our long-awaited “It’s a boy!” surprise. It all felt ruined and I felt nothing.