Three things to do when your kid gets benched

I remember the day my son lost first chair on the school marching band. He came home and declared that he hated the 
trumpet and he never wanted to play it again. When I asked him what happened, he did not want to talk about it. My 
initial parental impulse was to go down to the school, find out what happened and defend my son in whatever the 
incident was. 

But I knew that racing in to potentially rescue my son was not the right thing to do. If I wanted to raise a resilient young 
man, I had to do two things; trust in the “law of allowing” by giving him room to deal with the situation on his own, and 
to stand back just far enough to be available to coach him through the issue, if he needed me. He obviously didn’t want 
to talk about what happened so I had to wait until he was ready to share. 

Some parents don’t wait it out. They allow the protective momma or papa bear in them to quickly race down to the 
school or confront the coach to protect their child. We’ve seen all the cell phone video footage of the dads who end up 
physically attacking the coach or worse, another child. Yes, we must protect our child from danger and harm, but 
responsible parents must assess each situation to determine how much they should really get involved.