"According to Damour, the most powerful force for good in a teenager’s life is a “caring, working relationship with at least one loving adult.” Within that context, adults can offer teenagers empathy, grounded perspective and a vote of confidence as they work through challenges -- helping them aim for courage, not avoidance. “Brave is a positive word -- it’s something we aspire to be,” said Damour. “Built into the word is the understanding that the person is scared and yet they are doing something anyway. Scared is here to stay. Anxiety is part of life. It’s not our job to vanquish these feelings. It’s our job to develop the resources we need to march forward anyway.”
Monthly Links
API Links is a monthly e-newsletter to help keep parents, professionals, and others abreast of the latest news and research in Attachment Parenting and updates of API programs.
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Respond with Sensitivity
Editor's Pick |
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"A new study from Washington University in St. Louis suggests that adults who have a hard time finding their sense of purpose in life possibly had more conflict with their mothers in their early elementary school years. Patrick Hill is a co-author of the study and said that their research leads them to believe that a purposeful path in life starts early, and well before we even start to consider goals for our adult life. He adds that their research shows that it’s actually the perception of the conflict held by the child that impacts their sense of purpose as he or she ages, and the relationship with his/her mother is key." |
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"It often seems like society gives us two options: we either raise them to be tough and ‘take no prisoners’ or to constantly ‘turn the other cheek’ and let them become the bullied of every situation. One of the best things about attachment parenting says that neither has to be true, though, and that it IS possible to gently raise resilient children without constantly throwing ‘tough love’ around like it’s candy. Why does love need to be ‘tough’? Why can’t it be decisive and firm, but with gentle intent and best interest behind it? Attachment parents argue it can, and here’s how." ~Lori Ennis for Mothering |
Prepare for Pregnancy, Birth, and Parenting
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Volume 1 is focussed on the communication and development of relationships with babies and children aged between 0-5 years (but many are relatable at all ages). The first five years are the foundation of life and effect us for the rest of our lives.
This book promotes:
The development of a healthy parent child bond- through use of respect, comfort, connection and empathy
Trusting your baby and your own instincts- understanding and supporting the natural progression of human development
Respectful responses to challenges associated with baby sleep and toddler emotions
Positive communication without manipulative or punitive measures, the importance of play and being in nature
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Featured here at a local library, "Attached at the Heart: Eight Proven Parenting Principles for Raising Connected and Compassionate Children" by API cofounders Barbara Nicholson and Lysa Parker is an incredible guide for caring for those you love. |
Happy Valentine's Day from Attachment Parenting International! We're glad we're "Attached at the Heart"!Provide Consistent and Loving Care
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Art’tachment, an app for parents, "is designed to enable you to better meet your child’s need for connectedness and stimulation." It includes activities to do together and scientific insights to better understand your child. The app will help you pause and be present with your child. |
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"The ACE study has demonstrated how impactful adverse childhood experiences are on an individual; impacting mental, emotional and social growth as well as negatively affecting physical health. In recent years professionals have turned their focus to the prevention of ACEs and one thing stands out. We must address the intergenerational transmission of these adverse experiences. But how do we do that?" ~Victoria LeBlanc, Attached at the Heart Parenting Educator Coordinator |
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From the Center on the Developing Child at Harvard University Dr. Jack Shonkoff "testified about both the trauma that such a forcible separation can cause, as well as the long-term effects of toxic stress that continue to compound until separated children and their parents or caregivers are reunited." |
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“We are not the survival of the fittest, we are the survival of the nurtured.” - Louis Cozolino Nurture comes from the French word to feed or nourish. When we actively, intentionally and consciously practice connection, we nurture our nature. Our collective, relational, shared nature. It’s no longer “nature versus nature,” but BOTH nature AND nurture. When we nurture each other, we nourish each other. When we nurture our babies, our toddlers, our young kids, our adolescents in the varying degrees in which they need us, we nourish them... promote their health, wellbeing and even their longevity. Nurturing creates safety and belonging in relationship. While we are wounded in relationship, we can heal in relationship too. We don’t always heal in the same relationship where the wound originated, but studies show that, through attuned, reliable emotional connection, we can grow the front of the brain which helps us cultivate empathy, trust, intuition, self-regulation, even morality. Nurturing and nourishing. Relational food. Practicing sensitive and responsive communication, mindfulness and compassion (including self-compassion) changes the nervous system, our chemistry and circuitry from an anxious, vigilant state to a calmer, more open, receptive and connected state. Nurturing is nourishment for the heart, mind, brain, body. It nurtures wellbeing and health. Connection with self and others. Perspective, hope, and trust.
- Lu Hanessian Parent2ParentU: Raising the Future
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Strive for Balance in Personal and Family Life
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"In the course of my interviews, I discovered that American working mothers generally blame themselves for how hard their lives are. They take personal responsibility for problems that European mothers recognize as having external causes. The lesson here isn’t for overwhelmed American parents to look longingly across the Atlantic; it’s to emulate the Swedes, Germans and Italians by harboring the reasonable expectation that the state will help." |
Other
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"There is increasing awareness in the general public of the negative risks of spanking. Research shows a 93% agreement that spanking is harmful. Spanking is consistently linked to increased behavioral problems, increased aggression and defiance, and lower moral internalization. It is also linked to an increased risk of mental illness in adolescence, drug and alcohol abuse, and a greater likelihood of domestic violence into adulthood. Spanking little children is particularly problematic, due to the profound effect that negative experiences can have on the rapid development of the brain in the first few years of life." Visit StopSpanking.org to see all the policy statement and research on the effects of spanking. |
